A wild-eyed dream......
|She picked up the phone after the first ring. "Hello......., is that you Tillie?"|
"Of course, it's me! It's 8:30 in the morning.........I call at 8:30 every morning!.........ma, listen, I had this terrible dream last nite. I woke up sweating with a terrible hot flash to end all hot flashes!"
"So this was a "hot" dream?"
"Nooooooo.....it was not a "hot" dream. It just made me hot........oh forget how I felt. I was terrified! It was sooo real. I dreamed that I had twins ma! Twins. They kept crying & screaming. I tried to wake up, but I couldn't."
"How sweet. Twins. Was it boys, girls, a mixture? Dark hair, I hope!"
"Ma, who cares if they were boys or girls with or without dark hair. I'm 49 years old, I've missed 2 periods, feel lousy with nausea. I dream of having twins & you want to know about boys or girls! Ma. Don't you know how aggravated I am because of all this? It's terrible. I keep telling myself, it's the change, but then I remember Aunt Ida having a baby at 50! Ma, I can't stand it. What if I'm pregnant?"
"Oh shush! You worry too much. Aunt Ida had a baby at 50 because she was fooling around with her boss, that's why she got pregnant. Your boss is a kid so don't worry........ah, he is a kid, right......also gay? So, you're not pregnant. At least, I don't think you're pregnant. You said yourself that Sal sleeps in another room. Right?"
"Ma. Yes, Sal sleeps in another room.......but that's got nothing to do with the price of eggs in China. Once in awhile, he sleeps with me. You get that ma? Once in a big while.....he sleeps....."
Yeah, yeah. I'm a woman.........I get it! I guess pregnant is not what you want to be right now? Am I right or am I right? Did you tell Sal?"
"You got it! Pregnant is not what I want anymore.....like nada.......forever. And what? Are you kidding? Tell Sal? He'd love it. He could brag to everyone about his 'super, duper sperm!' Come to think of it, twins would be easier to take than his struttin' around, showin' off. He keeps saying that bald men are more virile. A baby, maybe twins. That's all we'd need. All he worries about is his virility. He could make one of those commercials except he'd have to explain why he needs a pill since he sleeps in another room or in the recliner & falls asleep after supper every night.!"
"So. Whadda' ya want from me? At my age I can't be sympathetic. I'm too worried about my arthritis & what to cook for supper. Don't act crazy. It's just a dream. And don't even think about Aunt Ida........rest her soul. Even if she did fool around with her boss! Maybe you should go to a doctor about those dreams. What's this? Maybe the third or fourth bad dream you've had lately? Except having twins doesn't seem like such a bad dream?"
"Ma! Don't you think I should see a doctor about being pregnant not about bad dreams? You think I should see a doctor?"
"Well whaddya' ya think I think? Sure, I think. Doctors can usually tell you if you're pregnant even tho' you aren't anyway. You should maybe see one to check it out. Do baby doctors take care of bad dreams, too? You could check about that too."
"Ma. I don't know why I tell you these things. You don't make sense sometimes. But I feel like I have to tell you, ma. I tell you everything. Maybe that's the problem..........why you don't understand. Maybe I tell you too much. But this is different. You're the only one I can tell. This is embarrassing at my age.I thought I was through with all this......babies & stuff. I'd rather have grandchildren, but we know that's out. Well, so far, it's out."
"What embarrassed? Lots of women are having babies later in age. I don't think all of them are test-tube babies. Maybe a few. Or some have other women carry their eggs, right? That seems dumb to me. But today, I guess nothing surprises me anymore. So age shouldn't embarrass. Not sleeping in the same bed with your husband is embarrassing. So is having a baby with your boss when you're 50 years old. Now that's verrrrry embarrassing! See what I mean? And besides, why is being a grandmother out, so far?"
"Yeah, ma. I see what you mean. I shouldn't tell you this stuff. That's what I mean! I guess I'll call Doctor Z. She's a family doctor, but she'll know about this. Probably about the dreams too."
"Good, see Dr. Z. And what about being a grandmother? Why is that out for now? You want to explain this to me. Me who doesn't understand, but listens anyway to her crazy, but beautiful daughter! Why no grandmother, so far?"
"Ma. You know. I told you that Vicki says no to having kids. She & her "significant other" don't want to bring anymore kids into this world. At least that's what they say."
"Right. Now I really don't understand. What if we all felt that way? Then they really wouldn't have to worry about bringing anymore kids into the world. Should we be ashamed.....we wanted families. You & me. We got married, we had kids, right? What's so bad about getting married. About bringing kids into the world? Yeah, I know what they say, but do they really think that way? I think they'll change their minds. They go down to city hall, have a wedding, have babies. I see it happen all the time."
"You see it happen all the time? What did you drink for breakfast? It doesn't happen all the time. At least not with our kids or our friends kids. They all have weird ideas. They don't want to commit. What does that mean ma? When I got married, I don't think the word commit came up once. Not even once. Now it's every other word Vicki says when she talks about not marrying her "SO".......that's what she calls him.........her "SO". I swear. When she says that I expect her to add a "B" to the "SO!" Ha! Wouldn't that be funny if she slipped & said "SOB! instead of "SO." Sal would split a gut laughing..........& I think I would too. But none of this helps me with this problem."
"So will you call Dr. Z for an appointment? Why don't you do that & call me back, ok?"
"Yeah, ma. I'll let you know. And ma, would you go with me. To the doctor I mean? You understand, right?"